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Literature Text
Day 1.
Wake up to the aching murmur of my heart,
The sweating of my dry, shivering palms,
I do not want to wake up this morning.
Get dressed in something casual,
I refuse to be flashy or impressive,
It will draw too much tension, too much wandering eyes,
I do not want to be watched today.
Take a little extra from the pill bottle,
Hopefully it will work today,
Because I want to talk to that one person, but can't,
I do not want to fail again today.
I sit in the back of the class looking into space,
Tapping my fingers swiftly when a phantom says hello,
I do not want to sound stupid and embarass myself today.
Walking towards the lunchroom, heart racing or stopping,
I quickly make a U-turn in the opposite direction,
Walk into the stall and pout to be safe,
I do not want to go into that room today.
I walk home from school, alone and afraid,
Are the passing cars laughing at the way that I strut along the sidewalk?
Or are they watching me with humourous smirks, waiting for me to take a glance,
I do not want to walk home today.
Sit in my room and lie on my bed,
Thoughts race past my eyes, blinding my mind slowly,
I close my eye-lids to maybe escape from this terror,
I do not want to wake up tomorrow.
But maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be different.
Just maybe.
(Repeat from first stanza)
Wake up to the aching murmur of my heart,
The sweating of my dry, shivering palms,
I do not want to wake up this morning.
Get dressed in something casual,
I refuse to be flashy or impressive,
It will draw too much tension, too much wandering eyes,
I do not want to be watched today.
Take a little extra from the pill bottle,
Hopefully it will work today,
Because I want to talk to that one person, but can't,
I do not want to fail again today.
I sit in the back of the class looking into space,
Tapping my fingers swiftly when a phantom says hello,
I do not want to sound stupid and embarass myself today.
Walking towards the lunchroom, heart racing or stopping,
I quickly make a U-turn in the opposite direction,
Walk into the stall and pout to be safe,
I do not want to go into that room today.
I walk home from school, alone and afraid,
Are the passing cars laughing at the way that I strut along the sidewalk?
Or are they watching me with humourous smirks, waiting for me to take a glance,
I do not want to walk home today.
Sit in my room and lie on my bed,
Thoughts race past my eyes, blinding my mind slowly,
I close my eye-lids to maybe escape from this terror,
I do not want to wake up tomorrow.
But maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be different.
Just maybe.
(Repeat from first stanza)
Literature
social anxiety.
i'm sorry,
but we can't talk.
not now, not ever.
because i may say
something i'll
regret later.
because i may make
you feel very
uncomfortable.
because i may just
stop breathing for
the rest of the day.
because i may upset
you and you'll run
away forever.
i hope you understand
i'm only doing this
for your own good.
it's not really for me.
i can just feel it.
and it's not good.
my throat tenses up.
my head throbs around.
my fingertips stop feeling.
i'll stop wishing i were
here and start wishing
i were in the ground.
six and a half feet under
would be much better
than speaking out loud.
silence escapes my lips
as
Literature
Social Anxiety
I was sitting in my room again
The lights were off and the curtains closed
But the moon still hadn't shown up yet
Just sitting in my underwear
My head against the radiator
Thinking about those "friends" of mine
What were they doing and were they thinking of me?
Didn't matter, it's not like I'll have the confidence to go out again
It's only the alcohol that made me smile and say small quiet words
Only the alcohol that stopped me crumbling
Pathetic
My ability to socially interact with others
Relies solely on rum and vodka
Funny
I said I'd never drink
Doesn't matter, it'll only be a few more weeks, or was it months?
Until I could
Literature
social anxiety
Painfully shy they call me
and they are right
it is painful
but something about the label
doesn't feel right
I have a voice but I. Can. Not. Speak.
Words stuck in my throat,
tunnel vision kicks in and I feel weak
anxiety manifests in any social situation
lightheadedness, dizziness, heart palpitations
adrenaline rush, tremors, hyperventilation
d I s c o n n e c t e d n e s s
I'm sick of dealing with this
I have a lot to say
but my verbosity remains internal
I pray they stay away
but when they do, it cuts like shrapnel
because I'm the most social anti-social
you'll ever meet
don't talk to me, don't talk to me;
p
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Title: Social Anxiety: The Lack of Enthusiasm Makes it Less of a Poem, More of a Suicide Note
I think this poem thoroughly illustrates the feelings that run with social anxiety disorder. I've suffered with this terrible disorder almost my whole life, but I recently have been taking action in stopping it from reaching its full potential. I am winning. And I take pride in that
I think this poem thoroughly illustrates the feelings that run with social anxiety disorder. I've suffered with this terrible disorder almost my whole life, but I recently have been taking action in stopping it from reaching its full potential. I am winning. And I take pride in that
Comments6
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Thank you for making this piece. It really means a lot to me and everyone else who has this disorder. Social anxiety disorder has really weighted down my life but I am working through it. Thank you so much again.